My lovely daughter is now a little over 3 months old, which means I have officially completed the 4th trimester. I believe that the 4th trimester is the hardest – who knew!?
The first two weeks especially. Yes, there are sleepless nights and yes, she is crying and you don’t really know why. But that was expected. Rather it was the shear exhaustion from an horrific birth (I’ll spare you the details), the hormones and pain and then having someone 100% dependant on you who you have only just met. I found myself turning into robot mode. Wake up. Feed. Change nappy. Get her back to sleep. I sleep. Repeat.
As the birth was so bad, it did take me a couple of weeks to say, “I absolutely love you and will do anything for you.” And this really took me by surprise.
A friend of mine (who has two sons) asked me when my daughter was 10 days old, with a knowing glint in his eye – “so, do you love her yet?”. I hesitated and then he jumped in and said, “don’t worry, it’ll come.” It scared me.
My husband, however loved her within seconds. Every time she cried he would pick her up and exclaim, “of course I’ll buy you that pony!”. Oh dear.
I do love my little darling and she is cooing on the play mat right now – finding that a few toys hanging above her can provide minutes of entertainment. I think I truly started to love her when she started sleeping through the night – ha ha! Only joking. But, that day was momentous and I think I celebrated it more than her actual birth!
Life does seem to feel much more “normal” now. I can actually turn on my laptop and make a blog update. I can plan social events and I can have a clean house and clean hair.
Will it be possible to start thinking about working from home again? Can I do it and how will I adjust to this new life? Time will tell….